braces puhleaasee?

Hi! I just got back from dental clinic!! Yeahhh as you know, I got fang on the right side of my mouth. The boys in my school recently call me a 'vampire'. But then I would reply back to them "Heck yeaahhh I'm Edward Cullen's sister. You fail, dude.." Ha-ha-ha yeahhhh not-so-cool-bro. I hate it. Seriously. 


Back to the square.... I was excited to remove this fang away but the dentist told me it was unnecessary to remove this fang. I should wear braces instead. Lolsssss b-r-a-c-e-s-?-?-? It's been a long time I truly wanted to wear braces.


My life's so hard. My dad isn't the type of man who would afford on these things. I know he would say it was nonsense. Membazirkan duit je! Yeahh I knew it was going to happen like that. Since braces are about RM6000. Kinda expensive I guess. I hope my dad would agree as soon as possible ;'(

weakness behind the strong ones

They say insecurities won't destroy you but the truth is I am dying inside here. I am.

I have no one to share about what I feel. That's why I'm posting it here. I know I sounded so pathetic. Fuck it.

There are so many emotions running inside me right now. Lost. Lonely. Useless. Pathetic. Betrayed. Sad. Fucked up. I can’t describe it. Words can’t describe it precisely. Maybe I'm hoping someone who cared about me. As a bestfriend, of course. Someone that will brighten my day with a simple ‘Good Morning’ text. Someone that would ask how was my day. Someone that could make me smile even when everything inside me are shattered to pieces. Someone that will wipe my tears when I cry and tell me everything is going to be ok. Someone that actually care whether I’m alive or not. Someone that doesn’t make me feel worthless. Someone who loves me.

I know my life isn't treating me well. So many things that still not right. Every night I will curl on my bed, trying to suck everything that I feel in but it just hurts too much to hold it in that I will end up crying myself to sleep. It’s just a mess. I’m a mess. I don’t know what is wrong. Is it me? Or is it someone else? Am I really useless? Why I feel like everything is slipping away from my grasp? All this while, I’ve never gave up on anyone. Because I know how much it hurts when someone gave up on me. I’ll keep fighting, holding on to keep them from walking away. But what if I’m just too tired of everything? What if all I want to do is to let everything go?

Maybe I’ve been thinking too much about this. Maybe.